Pewdiepie Ruins A Movie - Star Trek Edition
by Ink Spotz
Summary: Pewdiepie finds himself as captain of a starship that has a run in with a Klingon. How will he overcome this obstacle? (Dedicated to my two fellow "angels". This summer wouldn't have been the same without either of you. I'm glad to have both of you in my life. You both are amazing and truly out of this world).


The scene is dark. Nothing can be seen but a black screen. Dramatic but triumphant music pulses in the background. All of a sudden, yellow words start to scroll up the screen. These yellow words are the famous Star Trek dialogue, but with a twist. Narrating the text as it scrolls up the screen is none other than Felix Kjellberg, famously known as Pewdiepie.

"Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Pewwwwwwwwwwwdiepieee! Her five-year mission: to explore strange new video games, to seek out new laughs and new idiotic people, to boldly go where no bro has gone before..."

The screen fades away from black. The dramatic music ends. The camera sweeps along the bridge of the Enterprise at an odd angle to show all the workers milling about before straightening out and focusing on the captain's chair. Seated in the typical captain's position, half slouched on and half slouched off the chair, sits Felix in a yellow shirt. In his hands he is holding some kind of controller. Over his eyes appears to be some sort of VR glasses.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! ALIEN SCUM, NO!"

Felix thrust a hand forward then, as if he were swatting at something, but it was something that wasn't visible to the rest of the crew. Spock moved to approach the captain's chair, standing a few feet in front of it.

"Captain, may I have a word with you?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Felix again then, jumping up from the captain's chair. He batted an arm out sideways, hitting Spock in the chest. It did not phase the Vulcan at all.

"Captain."

"DIE! DIE! DIE! Don't take me! I've got too much to live for!"

A flicker of irritation crossed Spock's face; the half human side of him rearing its head for a moment. Spock stepped forward, yanking the VR glasses off of Felix.

"We need to talk."

"This isn't Oprah," quipped Felix as he glared at Spock. "I was in the middle of a game, da-"

"No swearing is allowed on this vessel," said Spock. "Do you not remember the rules laid down before our launch?"

"I'm the Captain! I can do whatever I please!"

Before Spock could say anything else to Felix, a loud alarm sounded out throughout the Starship Pewdiepie. Felix and Spock both turned to look at Sulu who had swiveled in his seat with a grave look upon his face.

"Captain, we are being hailed by an alien vessel."

"Broadcast this throughout the ship," said Felix then as he sat back down in the captain's chair.

Sulu turned back around, and did as Felix instructed. Soon a Klingon's face appeared on the screen in front of the entire bridge.

"Hey! He looks like Slippy!" Felix blurted out, which caused Spock to glare at him.

"Ah, Captain Kjellyburge we meet at last."

"It's K _jellberg_ ," corrected Felix.

"Kjellborge?" asked the Klingon in confusion.

"No, Kjellberg."

"Khelbrig?"

"No. Say it really slow with me now..."

As Felix attempted to get the Klingon to say his last name correctly, the crew on the bridge kept looking back and forth between Felix and the screen the Klingon was on as if they were watching an interesting tennis match.

"ENOUGH!" bellowed the Klingon then, who looked as if he were enraged by the whole thing. "It does not matter what I call you..."

"Well, it does in my book!"

"It doesn't in my book!" shouted the Klingon back. "You have tested my patience for far too long, Captain Kelbert..."

"That's not even close to my name!" shouted Felix in offense.

Spock moved to step forward then, stepping in front of Felix and blocking his view of the Klingon on the screen.

"Captain, I believe that you have become emotionally compromised. Therefore I'm informing you that you need to step down..."

"I'm not emotionally compromised!" shouted Felix before he fixed his attention on the Klingon. "Listen here, Slippy Senior, I will not tolerate you blowing my new ship to kingdom come! You have no idea what you're up against!"

The surroundings seemed to fade to black as light and attention became fixed on Felix as he whispered dramatically, "Release the bro fist."

The light seemed to shatter then as Spock stepped into the ring of light surrounding Felix currently.

"Bro fist?"

"Yes," said Felix, still staring dramatically off into the distance. Not at the Klingon. No one knew exactly what Felix was staring at. Spock even turned to try to figure it out.

"Captain. What are you looking at?"

Felix chose to ignore Spock completely. He stood up and moved to push past him, walking closer to the screen as if he were strutting down the runway. The Klingon on the screen arched his brows as if he were confused by Felix suddenly approaching the screen. Felix paused in front of the screen as he narrows his eyes.

"The power of the bro fist will overwhelm you. Chekov, release the..."

"Chekov's not with us, sir," piped up Sulu then, breaking Felix's command.

Felix half turned then to see that Sulu was right. He glared and turned back around.

"Sulu, you release the bro fist then."

"Very well, Captain," said Sulu.

Suddenly, another alarm blared out through the ship. Deep within the recesses of the starship, Bones was busy distributing red shirts to people that seemed to be coming out of no where. Bones ordered them to line up, checking them off on a list he had on a clipboard in his hands before handing them a red shirt.

"And he didn't like you," muttered Bones as he thrust a red shirt at a gangly looking man in front of him. "And he didn't like you..."

Spock burst through the doors of the medical bay then, having a hard time squeezing past the surge of newly outfitted red shirts as they pushed into the hallway. He froze when he was just a few feet from Bones as he watched Bones thrust a red shirt at someone wearing Mickey Mouse ears. As that person walked past Spock, Spock cleared his throat.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm following Felix's orders. I'm assembling the bro fist."

"But you're a doctor."

"Don't you think I know that? But I can kind of understand where Felix is coming from with this one."

Bones looked past Spock at the cluster of red shirts in the hallway. He could see that they seemed to be lost.

"I have to go, Spock. I have to finish assembling the bro fist."

Spock watched as Bones walked into the hallway. Spock watched in horror as all of the red shirts were tied together; the head of the red shirts being given a large bro fist to hold. Bones clambered into an emergency spacesuit before he helped the red shirts to open the emergency hatch. Spock lost his composure, reaching both hands upwards and yanking at his hair. The human side of him combined with the lack of logic in the situation proved a bad combination for Spock. Spock watched as the red shirts were shot out into the cold void of space.

On the bridge, Felix watched on the screen as the red bro fist shot towards the Klingon ship. It made contact with a brilliant burst of light, causing everyone aboard to squint and temporarily avert their gaze. When the light finally died down enough for them all to look again, all that was left of the red bro fist was a pair of Mickey Mouse ears floating randomly throughout space. With a grin, Felix moved to sit back down in the captain's chair.

"Sulu, chart a course for home."

Reaching down beside the chair, Felix picked up a new pair of VR glasses that seemed to be hiding there, and put them on. As Felix began a new VR game, Spock burst onto the bridge.

"Captain."

"Not now..."

"You just condemned a bunch of..."

"No. No!" Felix stood up from the chair as he temporarily removed the VR glasses to look at Spock. "BONES!"

Bones suddenly seemed to appear out of no where with a clipboard in his hands.

"Yes, Felix?"

"Why is he still here? He was on the list. He was suppose to get a shirt."

"I what? On the list?" asked Spock. He looked back and forth between Felix and Bones as Bones checked the clipboard in his hands.

"Sorry. I forgot, Felix," said Bones then. "He was on the list."

Bones reached out to grab Spock's arm, trying to lead him off, but Spock was trying to tug himself free.

"Let go of me, McCoy..." said Spock.

"You need to get a red shirt on."

"Why?"

"Because the captain doesn't like you."

"Well, the captain is a juvenile."

"No, I'm not," said Felix as he sat back down in the Captain's chair and put the VR glasses back on. "I'm Pewwwwwwwwwwdiepie!"


End file.
